India: Down in the memory Lane

I am back in India after 5 long years. In fact for all practical purposes after 14 long years. And boy has it changed - you bet BIG TIME. It seems like India has bifurcated into two parts - Metros and small interior towns. And the gap between the two has seemed to widen so much that I am not sure if there is any resemblance left at all. India in Metro is crowded yet vibrant, polluted yet bustling with energy, creative, and rich with tech gen who are just finding ways to spend the newly found money. I have not seen that many designer show rooms in US and Europe as I have seen here in India. The hotels on NH in Delhi close to airport cost as much as $450 a night. There are great eating joints with classy ambiance.
People are working hard as it is highly competitive work environment and almost every one wants to have a bigger and bigger title.

As you move along the roads you see all these newly constructed high rise especially in the suburbs where these construction sites are gutting more and more of the farmlands. There are few trees here and there with inches of dust on them. They seem to be bearing the brunt of the development and seem to be disappearing fast. A few that are left give such a sullen look as if requesting to be laid in peace.
You also see chawls (or slums) just outside the big cities. With mountain loads of trash around them. I could see small kids playing on the heap of trash. Looking at them made me feel guilty about the $20 breakfast I had in the morning.

The small towns are still sleepy and slow paced. You can see bullock carts and camel carts on the road. The streets are still crowded due to the sheer number of people on the road. The farms still exudes the old charm however the layer of dust is everywhere. I did not see even one clear morning where you could see sun rising. There is a perennial layer of smog on the horizon.

This time, I came with an intention of going and visiting all the places which touched my life in some form or the other while I was growing up. I also wanted to meet my old friends and family - cannot explain the reason but I had an urge to see everyone.

With this intention I started my journey from Saharanpur (my maternal grandfather's house) which is around 130 km away from Meerut. I had a great time at there . My mama used to take me to all these small cool places around the city on his bike - one of my favorite was this canal just outside the city. When I called Mama and told him that I am coming I was so touched that he went all across the city to collect my favorite food. He took me on his motor bike to the same canal along with my 3 yr old son in the front (where I used to sit as a kid).

I really went there to see my Nani (my mom's mom) with whom I am very attached to. She raised me till I was three and thereafter I spent all my school vacations at Saharanpur till I was 12. I have so many memories associated with that house. Among many things I remember my Nani buying me a toy vanity set with mirror, she making dolls for me out of the wool, and she giving me money out of her pocket expense to go and eat my favorite things on the street. I remember those endless long summers spent in making mango chutneys and papads and achaars (pickles). Some of those pickle jars are still lying there in the almirahs.

I spent most of my childhood on the third floor which is now empty (after my grandfather passed away). To me that floor is where all my memories are scattered. Right from the nook where my grandmother used to pray to the store house where I used to hide. That store house used to have huge trunks and I loved looking inside them with great curiosity as if there was some big treasure. I used to look at all the old things m grandmother had in them. The places that seemed so big when I was a kid just seemed so small this time. Right from the rooftop at my maternal grandparents house to the room in which at one point of time at least 7 of us seem to sleep with 4 beds. This time it was empty with just one bed which is almost 60 years old. Still the room seemed so tiny. There was also this old pantry kind of shelf which is at least as old as me as I always just saw it there in the same corner. I left the place with a feeling of closure. Not sure if I am ever going back there or not. But does not matter. I will always cherish my time there and I also felt that by taking my son back there he got the blessings of my grandparents.


(To be continued)

Happy Deepavali 2010

At one time or another, we have all known the paradox where after a hard day at work, we look back and feel not tired, but invigorated. That feeling describes our year perfectly; full of chaos and craziness but also enriching and satisfying.

First, the craziness. Ashish became Technical Advisor at Twitter after finishing his sabbatical there. He had an incredible experience and architected many of their algorithmic and monetization products, while maintaining his research program at Stanford. He also won the Rajeev Motwani mentorship award. Ruchi got promoted, and had her busiest professional year, launching a $2B product for her employer, Netapp. This involved non-stop work and many trips to Europe. It felt like we had four jobs between the two of us.

Now, the parts that made this year rewarding. Swati is growing by leaps and bounds. Last year she won first prize in a playwriting contest organized by the local Children’s Theatre. She was chosen into the local swim club for pre-competitive swimming and learned to ski comfortably on blue slopes. She also got adventurous and tried black a couple of times with her dad.

Agastya has become a little man with his own set of fixed ideas. He has fallen in love with tractors, tools of all types, and speaking. He likes to emulate Swati, so he has also started swimming and ice- skating lessons. He competes with Swati ferociously for every small thing; at the same time when he needs comfort he just cuddles upto her like a puppy.

Ashish's parents were visiting us this summer. Their trip was all too short, but the grandkids had a great time, learning harmonium from Dadi, listening to stories, and bonding.

We traveled to Costa Rica for our winter vacation, which was the most pristine place we have been to. The beaches were overflowing with small hermit crabs, there were iguanas everywhere, we saw dozens of different species of colorful humming birds in their wild habitat, saw lava flow from an active volcano, and walked high among the foliage of the cloud forest where moisture creates another layer of vegetation on the tree-tops. During the summer, we spent a week camping and hiking in Yellowstone and Glacier national Park; this was Agastya's first camping trip and he loved it.

Please accept our best wishes for a prosperous and healthy new year.

Interesting lives of ordinary women

Finally, I have started this.. This blog is about all the interesting women I have met during my lifetime and my perceptions and understanding of them. So essentially it's their stories through my eyes and my interpretations. I might add some fictional details here and there to fill the gaps in my memories. Again not a reflection on any of the people I met. Just the way I felt - part reality and part fiction. Have been thinking about writing this a while back (at least for 3 years). Does not matter - now I started it important thing is to keep it going...

First title is Sudha (dedicated to my mom)
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The woman who made me (both literally and figuratively)

Sudha was born in India just after Independence in a low middle class family where there was only oner earning person and several mouths to feed. In addition the continuous sickness, frequent child birth, and her mother's ill health made the situation worse. It is hard for me to understand what Sudha went through emotionally and psychologically as I was not there to witness. However, knowing what I know and as I interpret it I am convinced that all this had a profound effect on her. Her childhood was devoid of play - her focus was studies and household chores. In Sudha's words she knew her way out of this misery was to be an independent person. She was bright, so she threw herself into her studies. By the age of 20, Sudha had her Masters degree with a Gold medal and had a job to teach undergrad girls in a reputed college. However, as destiny would have it, she was forced to marry due to social pressures. Her marriage was not a happy one as the man she married had an entirely different ethic belief. Before they both could adjust to each other's ways, they had a child - a female. Four years later, another one followed. As the kids grew, they both began to grow apart. However, Sudha made sure that both girls got the best of education and sacrificed everything to take care of her kids and family. Sometimes, the road seemed very long and there were times when she felt unsure of herself. But all her hard work paid off and now both of her daughters are well settled now. Today Sudha is well respected and well established in her position at her college. To be continued

Like to trouble Mommy

Swati said to me today - "Mommy I do not know why but with others I am very prim and proper but with you at times I am rude and I am sorry. It's just I feel that I can be me with you"
And I just laughed that is o true. I know that when I am in my daughter shoes if I am upset I take it out on my mom as I know that she is the only one who would still live me unconditionally

Fall by Swati, written in 2006

Fall by Swati, written in 2006
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Some places in the fall
it snows, it snows
You can play, you can walk
in snow,in snow

And the wind will blow
Icy cold, Icy cold
And all the creatures are gone
In the cold, In the cold


My toes are too cold
From the snow
All cheeks are red
So I say bye to the snow
And go to sleep

I love you first

I think between 2-3 year old is the most charming age. Agastya these days think anything he reaches or touches first becomes his. One day I was telling him that I love you so he started saying I love you first :-)

Poem about Swati's name

This was written by Ashish on our trip to New Zealand and Australia in 1996. He has to write one for Agastya.

"One meaning of my name is a star constellation,
the other meaning of my name is a Dew Drop,
However, there is a more poetic meaning to my name for which I have to tell you a poem-
Every once in a while
Say 100 years or so
On a star called Swati
A dew drop appears
It falls to the Earth
And what do you know
It gets in an oyster
And that's how pearls grow"

Swati finished Harry Potter

Swati finally read complete Harry Potter series in 4 weeks (starting 24th Jan) and finishing the final book on Feb 24th 2010.

Biospehere Empathy

I was hearing NPR this morning - I did not get the name of the author however the topic was how human consciousness has evolved over centuries from hunters to religion to theology to philosophy to psychology to empathy.
And how we extend it to various groups - The concept of empathy started in late 20th century and earlier it extended to groups which people could relate to but then extended beyond religious boundaries and cultural boundaries. And in last five years it is extending beyond humans in general to other mammals.

Beauty is .. by Swati Goel

Swati wrote this in October 2009 as part of one of her school projects. The topic was "Beauty is..."

"The beauty of HUMAN lies in the heart and mind. That is what makes us intelligent, strong, and kind. This is the beauty of human.

The beauty of LIGHT is to give us sight so we can appreciate every object in day or night. Light gives us color, warmth, and life. This is the beauty of light.

The beauty of SPACE is that it is earth's home, just like houses and buildings are our habitat. Space inspires us to imagine and explore. This is the beauty of space.

The beauty of EVOLUTION is having life repeat over and over in different forms. Usually it gets smarter, just like we do by learning in school. This is the beauty of evolution.

The beauty of NATURE is to make the earth look like more than a humongous mound of dirt. Just like we wear clothes, plants decorate the earth. This is the beauty of nature.

The beauty of COMMUNITY is that it lets a group do more than any single person. Community helps creativity because the best work comes when one person's ideas mix with the others. This is the beauty of community."

Animals by Swati Goel

This is another poem Swati wrote on her experience in Children's Eternal Rainforest in MonteVerde Costa Rica in Dec 2009. She is 7 years old.

"As they flutter around with wings,
As they leap and hop on feet of web,
As they pounce along to show their strong,
As they slither and hiss to show their venom;
A chain of life that never ends, the only end is where they began."

Another short one on active volcano is Arenal in Costa Rica

"Thundering explosion of melted rock, breaking and building in an endless stock"

The Rainforest by Swati Goel

This is the poem Swati wrote on her trip to Costa rica based on what she experienced in San Gerado de Dota (a place famous for birds). It was raining and we took this hike in the rainforest to the waterfall.

"I slipped in the mud, I loved the way the canopy sealed me in.
Raindrop water was all around and yet it was hot and dry.
I couldn't bear to not look for birds and butterflies as I stared at plants, while climbing steep ground, as I finally reached the waterfall, I was panting."

Finding a social cause to fight for

For a while, I have been thinking of finding a social undertaking that would help me grow as a person. One of the ideas that I cam across was during our trip to Costa Rica. In 1990s, a group of kids in order to protect the forests collected funds to buy back land in Costa Rica and plant the forest again. Today, it is called the International Children's Forest and occupies a huge area and thus prevents deforestation. I thought it was such a great idea and may be I can do a similar thing in other countries. However, for such an idea to sustain itself I need to develop a business model around such initiative so that local population have incentive to protect the natural resources. Without the involvement of local community such idea is not sustainable.

I would love to hear more ideas on this or if someone else out there who is passionate about this issue would like to work on this let me know.

Costa Rica Trip

Agastya is 2 years and 2 months now and like all two year old his favorite words are "I do", "Mine", "Why", and "Mine". All these were in full swing when we went on our year end trip to Costa Rica. Swati and Agastya bonded really well. Swati taught Agastya almost half a dozen nursery rhymes. Agastya learned how to call a monkey. He would put one hand on his mouth and will say ouuuuu. On the beach he would run and jump over the waves hitting the beach and almost got carried by the waves a couple of times. In two weeks I really felt that Agastya has grown by two years.